In 2018, it was reported that 1 in 5 people feel lonely at Christmas and 1 in 10 spend Christmas alone.
You may be spending Christmas alone this year for a range of reasons, including being estranged from your family due to them not accepting your LGBTQ+ identity. Here’s how you can get through the day (And maybe even enjoy yourself) if you’re alone this year.
The LGBT Foundation previously produced a guide to surviving the holiday if you’re spending it with an unsupportive family. If this applies to you, check out this guide.
Start by thinking about how you want to spend the day. Are there any Christmas traditions you’ve previously enjoyed that you can adapt? Or do you want to avoid anything festive and eat your way to the New Year? Both are valid!
Play a video game, catch up on Drag Race, get lost in Tom Daley’s memoir, go for a run, whatever floats your boat! Remember, this is your day, forget what you ‘should’ do, and do what you’d like to! For example, if you want to cook a full Christmas dinner, stuffing and all, go for it! If you want Quorn nuggets and a tiramisu, this is the perfect day for it.
Planning ahead might help ease what feels like a vast amount of time. What time are you hoping to wake up? What’s the weather going to be like? How do you plan to spend the morning? Do you have time for a nice long bath? Will you be watching anything on TV? Having a loose structure to the day can help to reduce any anxieties you might have. The major broadcasters have released their Christmas programming, so that could be a great starting point to build a schedule for yourself.
It’s important that you communicate with others. Let a friend, family member or colleague know that you’ll be spending Christmas alone, check in with each other throughout the day and if you have some presents to open, you could arrange to open them together.
You might feel lonely on the day, particularly if you use social media and see what other people are up to. In the world we live in, people present a very aspirational side of their lives, which might leave you with FOMO. I’d avoid social media as much as possible if you can for this reason!
Some restaurants and pubs will be open on Christmas day this year, if you’re in Manchester, you could check out some venues that are open on Christmas Day:
REM Bar - Gay Village
Open 12pm until 7pm Christmas Day for anyone without plans. Business owners will be working the bar so staff can enjoy their day, and profits will be going to charity.
LOAF MCR - Oxford Street
LOAF are opening on Christmas Day for somewhere to go if you’re feeling lonely, low, or just need to get out of the house. They will be putting out cakes at a special rate, serving up delicious hot drinks (with free options for people struggling for cash), and will be giving people the chance to have a cosy space should they want or need it.
For some people, feelings of loneliness can be a trigger for using substances. Christmas and December can have a particular emphasis on substances like alcohol. If you've experienced any substance misuse issues in the past it might be good to think about coping strategies that have worked before for avoiding any triggers. Is there someone you can call if the urge to use is strong? If not, call the LGBT Foundation helpline (0345 3 30 30 30) or Switchboard (0800 0119 100) which is open every day of the year, and one of the team would be happy to help talk it through with you.
It’s OK to feel scared about the prospect of spending Christmas alone, particularly if this is your first time. Remember, it’s just one day. You can get through this. However you’re feeling right now, this won’t last forever. Things will get better.
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